Pain in the Neck!

It was a morning like any other. I woke Lil’J, who headed to the shower, and I trudged back to my room to change out of my PJ’s. Somewhere along the line…crick…shooting pain from my neck down my back and into my left arm. Just one small movement did it -- pinched a nerve, poked a disc, or maybe even popped a thingamajig. Whatever it was, my head was firmly cemented facing forward, and looking neither left nor right was a possibility.

Okay, so I popped some Aleve and got a heat pack and went about my day. But, my day was tough. Backing up in the car was totally mirror dependant. I survived, and didn’t run anyone over. Laundry, walking the dog, any household chores were completely out of the question. Even talking on the phone was difficult. By 10 a.m. I was already depressed and frustrated.

So, I had a few hours (24) of pain. Slow stretching and deep breathing helped. Plus, I’ll admit it, I have a stash of some really strong muscle relaxants from a few years ago and one before bed did the trick. I slept like a rock and awoke with at least some neck mobility. But my pain in the neck left an impact. This being the Thanksgiving season and all, I couldn’t help but be really thankful that I would not have to endure another day of pain and depression.

My good health brought to mind many of my friends and family who are suffering on a daily basis. People very close to me are battling with Lupus, Fibromyalgia, neck and back pain, not to mention a close relative who just had a knee operation. If I found one day of pain exhausting, imagine what these people go through every day. So, I’m planning to check in on my friends who are having a tough time, and to remind them of their bravery. It’s a helpless feeling, being around someone in pain. But maybe talking, checking in, or just an acknowledgement that they are doing a good job dealing with their pain can help.

Passing It On (Or, trying to...)

I got a compliment a few days ago at Whole Foods. I was there to buy some sushi as a treat because Big J was working from home and we were planning to have lunch together. I guess I was in a great mood. The cashier and I were chatting about nothing in particular, and he said, “You know, you’ve really brightened my day.” He continued to tell me that people had been a bit cranky that particular rainy day, and our conversation and my smile (I swear he wasn’t hitting on me, I would have known) had cheered him up.
I left Whole Foods in an even better mood. I realized that compliments really do make a difference, so I decided to compliment the next person that seemed to be spreading “the love,” “the good vibes,” “the sunshine,” or whatever you want to call it. Basically, I was on the lookout for a happy person.
Next stop was the bank, which I guess was the wrong place to go to find a cheerful person in this economy. People were standing in line looking a bit defeated. Video store? No luck there. Just some indecisive folks trying to plan which video to bring home. Office supply store to buy envelopes? Nope. No one really in a very good mood there, either.
The next happy, smiley face I saw that day was Big J when I walked in the door with the sushi. He was just finishing a conference call, and either he was really happy to get off the phone, or he was just happy to see me! I’ll go with the latter.
So, I don’t know. Maybe I did deserve that compliment on a dark, dreary and rainy day. Or, maybe I‘m just really lucky to have had something, or someone, to be happy about. In any case, I’m now on sort of a mission. I plan to make an effort to brighten the days of those I see around me, and I’m on the lookout for anyone else doing the same so I can give them a compliment, and some encouragement to go on being upbeat and friendly. So, if you’d like to join me, just smile whenever you get a chance and be sure to chat with your cashiers! And if you get a compliment, pass it on…

A Happy Tail

On Saturday we dropped Oscar off with his “forever family.” What a happy ending for the little dog with a big spirit. At times I wondered if this doggie experiment was really going to work. I wondered if we were really fostering a dog, or if we had taken a dog who would eventually become ours by default.

The truth is, I think we all learned and grew from this experience. My family and I opened our home to a stranger, and made him feel loved and welcome. Yes, it was more work, especially for me. But I got creative, like figuring out how to tie two leashes together and actually get the pups to walk side-by-side so as not to get completely wound-up and tangled by them – sounds easier then it really was. Big J, in the end, may have learned to have a little faith in my crazy schemes. And, he had to be especially tender with Oscar, because the pup was the most afraid of him – we assume some man had been abusive in the past. The kids, in addition to spending afternoons training and playing with Oscar, learned to love and then let go. I was worried we’d all become too attached to Oscar, but as it turns out, I was the one welling up as we drove home without him. The kids had to remind me of how happy and excited we were the day Oscar came to our home, and how his new family was feeling the same. Bottom line is that we all knew Oscar was where he was meant to be.

Oscar was only in our lives for two months, but that’s two months he didn’t have to live in a crate at a kennel. And now, we definitely miss him. He was a wise little pup, with caramel colored eyes that could melt your heart. He was as cuddly as a cat, loved people of all ages and he kept our dog, Indy, entertained for hours. We were a nice transition family for Oscar, and I think we helped him learn how to trust humans again.

So do I recommend fostering a dog and would I do it again? Would I invite a strange dog to come live with us until he or she found a forever home? Without a doubt. We all do what we can to make the world a better place. At different times in our lives our gestures may be large or small. For us, we started with a little dog named Oscar. Welcome home, sweet Oscar.

If you want to foster a dog, contact Great Dog Rescue New England.

American Spirit

My husband went to vote last Friday since he knew he'd be away on Election Day. He went down to Abbot Hall, Marblehead's town hall, which was constructed in 1870. The town clerk mentioned that Big J could fill out his ballot across the hall, if he wanted privacy. Big J entered the meeting room across the hall and found himself in the presence of American history. The famous painting, Spirit of '76, by Marblehead artist Archibald MacNeal Willard, is housed in this room. In addition to this famous painting, there is an oil painting of Washington crossing the Delaware with men from Glover's Regiment of Marblehead. Big J told me that as he filled out his ballot, suddenly all the knit-picky details about the election fell away. The negative sound bytes, the political jockeying, the fear, the ulterior motives -- all of it-- faded into the background of what it means to be an American and what a privilege it is to vote. This election brought us 9 million new registered voters! So, regardless of who won the election, there were more people than ever involved in the American political process, which means more people than ever care about our country. All Americans should be proud of this year's Election Day participation.

Fire in the Driveway

I heard Lil'J digging around in a pillow case filled with candy and I hollered from the next room, "Are you taking your sister's candy?" I knew he had hardly done any trick or treating the night before; he'd been too busy getting in shaving cream fights down the street.

"No, it's not her candy," he responded. "I haven't reached that stage yet." I had to giggle and silently agree. I hadn't reached the phase of Halloween aftermath when I eat C's candy either. We all eat C's candy because she really doesn't like candy that much. I've found that darn pillow case in her room in August, filled with crusty old candy bars and lollipops.

This year was the first Halloween I wasn't home alone handing out candy, while Big J went out with the kids. This year, both C and Lil'J were out on their own (though I did keep tabs on C by making her call me from her cell phone every time she and her girlfriends went on a new street.)

Beginning when they were babies, Big J would take the kids door to door. At first he popped them in a wagon and rolled them down the sidewalk, and later he trailed behind as they raced up and down the streets. Thinking about the old days made me a little sad. This year, each time the doorbell rang, Big J and I felt like an elderly couple answering the door and "ooing and ahhing" over all the little tykes' costumes.

Then I had the idea of pulling our little chiminea out to the driveway and lighting a fire. Soon, we had lawn chairs, the tiki torches, tunes and even a little wine. The night became much more festive! And, when our kids and their friends returned to our house to sort and trade their candy bootie, a crowd of parents gathered in the driveway. Not only did we recount the evening's events, we also reminisced about the Halloween's of recent years, and those of our youth. Somehow shaving cream fights don't sound so bad when I hear stories about my friends egging cars when they were kids.

So, our children are growing and now heading into the Halloween world without us. And while the times are changing, it's possible we started a new Halloween tradition this year. Mental note...next year get more candy and a few duraflames.